Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Glenn Beck Creates Own Moon: Better than Original?!

Used for satirical purpose as part of a legitimate review of  upcoming event
(providing free publicity to boot: http://www.glennbeck.com/maninthemoon)
Anonymous D provides us with this piece of Glenn Beck's latest self-promotion:
One wonders what the real psychological diagnosis of Glenn Beck would be. The kicker is the description of the event written and approved by Glenn Beck himself. I mean you can’t have some hack ghost writing for, how was it put, oh, yeah, “America’s premiere storyteller”…wait he did that with at least his last novel. I just can’t decided if Beck takes himself seriously or if he is just putting you on. I tend to believe that he is the worst of both worlds a true believer and a huckster all at the same time. 
I wonder what it would be like to be the same ward as Beck? If you were his Bishop would you call him on his B.S. when he came in for a Temple Recommend? [Well, that's sorta among the Lord, the bishop and him.] It’s one thing to lie to your boss about why you came in late, it’s another thing altogether to lie to a few million people every day. Does Glenn know he’s lying? If he doesn’t he’s mentally ill and probably doesn’t belong on Television. If he does he doesn’t belong in the Temple. We’ll never know of course. You can never prove that Beck doesn’t really believe this stuff.   
So, question: How long is it before Glenn sets himself up as “the one mighty and strong” from  D&C 85? I’m serious about this. He already sees himself as the next Walt Disney. Someone who has the gall to write a Hackneyed story like the “Man in the Moon, sell to even bigger dullards at Gold, Silver and Bronze prices (gold is over $1,200 by the way but you get to meet the great man himself. Bronze you only get to go to a panel discussion but you get a poster…that’s only $350, oh and a rehearsal of the great show…wow. Get to see it twice.) I can feel myself getting worked up.
Anonymous D and I highly recommend that you watch Glenn at the video link and see how long you can resist paroxysms of laughter. I lost it at "pop-up book." ("OWEN!!") Anon-D says:
My favorite is when he writes that that moon will be there.  Yeah, perhaps even the real one.  Need to check my lunar calendar.  Do you think Beck’s fake moon will out do the real moon?
And a later addition by D:
If you are seeking a reality-based moon on July 6th, I’m afraid you’re out of luck. Luminosity on that particular evening is only 2%. I’m still betting it’s actually bigger than Glenn Beck's moon. Sometimes you can’t get any better than what Glenn himself writes. “At times, it will seem to defy logic.” Only at times?  The whole thing seems loony (insert laugh) to me. It’s a little scary to hear read as Glenn slip so comfortably from devout savior of the country to film-flam man “America…believe in us again! Remember, as long as you buy your ticket…”  Of course that is what Glenn’s flim-flam is.  I’m ashamed, and not by a long shot for the first time, of being a Utahan. Perhaps only in Utah could such nonsense be foisted on a population with the idea that it just might work.  As I read it I thought of Douglas Adams book Dirk Glently’s Holistic Detective Agency where we learn of a robot that will do your religious believing for you.  The top of the line robot is “Capable of believing things they wouldn’t believe in Salt Lake City.”  This says nothing to me about Mormonism per say, but perhaps it would be better to quote President Harold B. Lee:
As I say, it never ceases to amaze me how gullible some of our Church members are….
If our people want to be safely guided during these troubled times of deceit and false rumors, they must follow their leaders and seek for the guidance of the Spirit of the Lord in order to avoid falling prey to clever manipulators who, with cunning sophistry, seek to draw attention and gain a following to serve their own notions and sometimes sinister motives.  (Ensign, Jan. 1973,  Admonitions for the Priesthood of God)
Actually the whole of the address should be reviewed. It’s a stunning rebuke to Beckism, McCarthyism, [Skousenism], Birtherism, etc. . . . 
I would love to go with D so we could blog and report on the actual event but we will need some sponsors as we refuse to fund Glenn's delusions of grandeur ourselves. Please send donations in a stamped, undressed elephant to:
Utah State Hospital
Provo, UT
Because either Glenn or Anonymous D and I are complete lunatics. (With apologies to the many wonderful staff and patients of the state hospital).


  1. It looks like picnic seating is only $35 a person, but $75 to sit in an actual seat. Personally, I would rather see any of the other shows that are at the venue this summer. Ironically, tickets for the big name country singers are more affordable. Sheesh.

    I am warming up to historic Utah at Keepa, but current Utah continues to hold no attraction.

    1. Anonymous D, some other friends & family, and I paid $65 a ticket to see the Who here in Salt Lake just a few years ago. They filled the Delta Center (we had nosebleed seats). And for old guys, Roger & Pete, especially the Guitar Wizard Pete, could really rock. They had a cool stage show, but no moon.


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