Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Sarah Palin's Big Speech

Not yet scheduled, but as I have long predicted, Sarah will one day give the big speech announcing she will not seek the Republican nomination. I thought I would get my draft out there in case she wants to use it.

(With many, many apologies to Sirs Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd-Webber)

A hush falls on the crowd as figures are seen on the balcony of the Casa Ice-ada. The the cry goes up from the crowd! "PALIN, PALIN, PALIN!" The voices of women and children rise to take over the chant, "Sarita, Sarita, SARITAAAAAAA!"

A pause. The music swells:

It won't be easy
You'll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your love
After all I been through
You won't believe me
All you will see
Is a girl you once knew
Although she's dressed up in what’s mine
By Republican donors like you.

I had to let it happen
I had to change
Couldn't stay all my life, fish in keel
Looking out of my window
With no winter sun
So I chose freedom
Running around trying everything new
But nothing impressed me at all
I never expected it to.

Don't cry for me Tea Partina
The truth is I’ve never left you
All through my wild days
My FOX existence
I kept my promise
Don't keep your distance.

And as for fortune and John McCain
I never invited them in
Though it seemed to the world
They were all I desired
They are illusions
They're not the solutions
They promised to be
The answer was here all the time
I love you and hope you love me.

I want to tell the people of Tea Partina
I've decided I should decline
All the honors and titles you've pressed me to take
For I'm contented . . .
Let me simply go on as the woman who brings real people
To the heart ($$) of her own.

Don't cry for me Tea Partina.
The truth is I shall not leave you.
Though they make it harder for you to see me,
I'm Tea Partina, and always will be.

Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you
But all you have to do
Is buy my books to know
That every word is true!


  1. /snicker/

    Is she really doing a "heil, Palin!" salute in that picture, by the way?

  2. Yeah. Well, I was looking for something more Patti-Lupone-ish" with both hands raised but this was the best I could do.

    Someday I may blog on my Brazilian/Argentinian/Latino-Fascism perspectives - not to mention the US involvement in the 1964 Brazilian Coup! Peron comes into my experience in that on my mission I was fascinated by a huge mural in the bus station in Uruguaiana, Brazil, that portrayed Juan Peron and Getúlio Vargas in the sky shaking hands over the international bridge they planned (but Getúlio was out before it was built). Anyway, I'm seriously digressing, but I was looking for a picture of that mural on-line because, like an idiot, I never took a picture as a missionary. Of course I was trying to maintain a low profile so as not to encourage the "spy" accusations that take me right back to that 1964 thing (some other day!) That's sort of how I was inspired to do the Palinista speech.

  3. This in from AnonymousD"

    "Did you by chance ever read “Going (is it Going or the more laconic Goin’?) Rouge”? I picked it up at Smith’s while I was waiting for prescriptions and started to read. Never had I wanted a prescription filled more in my life. It was like reading some hyper-active Boy Scout Law penned in the vernacular of a pre-pubescent Jr. High student, and she had help writing it! The editor and writer probably cut the size of the book in half by removing the Likes, ya knows, and you betcha’s.'


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